Advice · Relationship

Balance Needs to Happen

This topic that I’m writing about today is very close to me. It’s serious and one topic I wish did not happen as often as I see it.

There are a lot of parents out there that start with notion that they will be happily married with their kids, and picket white fence. The whole American dream. In reality that is not always the case, and the children suffer the most. Most parents do not split amicably which in turn makes co-parenting difficult.

Scenario: A couple have been together for a about 5 years married for 3 years. Everything is going well. They have a house, and now a child. The Father has a secret that he has kept hidden. The secret that he has kept hidden was the fact that he had a serious problem with alcohol. as time goes on the secret of course comes out and the marriage takes a turn for the worst. The Father gets fired from his job, becomes verbally abusive towards the mother, and steps out of the marriage. Eventually the mother leaves and takes the chid with her. They both were able to agree upon a price for child support and they part ways. Co-parenting goes well for a while. The child goes off and spends weekends with the father, the father comes over for birthdays and holidays. Things sadly haven’t  with changed the alcohol and it leads to a big issue. During a weekend where the child is with the father, he almost gets into an accident with the child in the car. He was under the influence. He does his jail time and goes to rehab, while thee mother is taking care of the child. After a few years the father comes back around and the co-parenting picks back up. The child is no 16 years old, and now the father wants to move to another city and the child wants to go with him. The father makes plans and goes ahead and gets things in order for the move to happen. The only thing is the mother knows nothing about it. The Father is suppose to move in a couple weeks and decides to tell the mother of his plans, but tells the mother that he is moving later than when he actually is. A big argument happens.

This big factor in this situation is the way that it is being done. The father should have said something sooner about wanting to take the child with him anywhere. Yes the child is 16, but that child is not grown yet. The child cannot make these types of decisions. The communication between the parents is questionable. Both sides can definitely do better at it. The child at this point is stuck in the middle and most likely feels like they have to pick sides. This should not be the case, but unfortunately it is.

Parents please stop the immaturity between one another. The child suffers the most and nothing ever get done. People all over whenever you decide to have children please be careful about who you have them with.


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