Advice · Friendship · Relationship

Misery Loves Company

Hello Everyone!! Today I want to talk to you all about a topic that is very common and that I myself was personally going through.

Scenario

You’ve been seeing someone for a good amount of time. By good amount of time I mean 3 months or more consistently. You are either in a relationship with this person, or you’re deeply considering getting into a relationship with this person. You talk about this person to your friends and eventually let them met them. There is a mix of positive and negative responses. There is this one person that wants to point out the negative in the person you’ve been seeing, and they are not letting up.

Misery Loves Company pic 2 (blog).jpg

This could be happening for one or more reasons:

  1. They see something that you don’t
  2. They do not have anyone of their own
  3. They do not want your attention/time divided between them and the person you are seeing.

The one I am going to focus on today is number 2

Personal Experience

I have been with my current boyfriend for only a couple of months now, and he’s met almost all of my friends. There has been both positive and negative responses. Positive responses come from everyone, but this one person. Her taste and my taste are different when it comes to men that we choose to be involved with. At first I didn’t think to much of the remarks that were being made, but when she started to get close to crossing over the boundary line of disrespect is where the problem came in. I understand that everyone has an opinion and a difference in taste, but there is no need to try to stereotype him, or insinuate how our relationship will go. I started to distance myself from her to keep from turning this into a big situation. When I did start to speak to her again it was not long that she started to ask me if I was still with my boyfriend.

I give her the “we’re good” and move the conversation along, but she would always try to back to him. Now at this point I started to wonder why I even started to associate with her again. I was about to cut her off for good when she asked me if she is setting the bar too high for the men that she meets.

It was in that moment that I realized that the only reason she was so wrapped up in my relationship business, because she hadn’t found anyone yet. The more I thought back on all the events that happened the more I realized that we single around the same time and when I stopped looking for someone I found someone while she was still searching. It wasn’t hard to come to the conclusion that she was jealous.

Final Thoughts

There many people who are like the young lady I described above in your life. You won’t know that they are this way in the beginning, but when the time comes to deal with it you have two maybe three good options.

  1. Cut them loose (maturely)
  2. Keep them around and try to help them
  3. Keep them at a distance. Maybe downgrade them from friend to associate

Whatever option that you choose make sure that you are willing to deal with any and all events that will transpire afterwards. It doesn’t matter if this is your closest friend or not be aware of the possible consequences good or bad. Me personally I went with option three. I picked that option, because this is the only real issue that me and this young lady had, and we’ve known each other for about two going on three years now. I just won’t bring up anything related to relationships with her.

Misery Loves Company pic (blog).jpg

Copyright ©2016 AmiableEmpath All Rights Reserved.

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