What’s More Important?

What’s more important?

This was a question that was asked to me other day by a friend of mine. We were on the phone discussing relationships, and what some may value when it comes to selecting someone to potentially be in a relationship with.

While we were having this conversation I noticed that three topics would come up more than anything else. The three factors are Physical Traits, Material Items, and Characteristics.

Disclaimer:The traits/categories that I list below do not apply to all women or men just the ones that I have spoken to personally.

Physical Traits

  • Height
  • Hair
  • Race
  • Skin tone
  • Body Build

These are just a few things that I’ve noticed most people talk about on a regular basis. Most men that I’ve spoken with prefer women who are no taller than “5’4” and the women I’ve spoken with prefer men that are have to be somewhere near “6’0”. Most of course want that appearance to be maintained, for example facial hair for men should be well manicured, and women’s make-up (if they choose to wear any) should look neat.

Race,skin tone, and body build are touchy subjects. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone has a preference, but for the men that I have spoken to have the preference of mostly a woman of any race, they did not want her to be too dark, and they wanted her slim with a big posterior. Whereas the women had mixed responses where race and skin tone were concerned, but the same when it came to body build. Some women prefer White men with athletic to chubby build, some others prefer Black men with an athletic build, and others prefer Hispanic or Asian men with athletic or chubby build.

Material Items

  • Home or Apt
  • Vehicle
  • Clothing
  • Income (monthly or weekly)

This topic in particular is what had the most interesting responses. For the men they wanted to provide the home, but they wanted the woman to be either working or in school, clothing had a mixed responses. Some men did not mind women to have revealing clothing, and others liked the conservative, but not too conservative look. When it came to income; however, there were mixed reviews. Some of the men preferred to make more than the women they choose to date, while others did not really care either way.

While the women had a very concrete response which I predicted. The women wanted the man to be working, or in school, had to have their own home or apt, and they had to have their own car. They also wanted their men in name brand clothes, and wanted the fashion of the men to match a certain celebrity’s style, o a model’s style they saw in a magazine. When the talk of income the women did have a specific amount of how much that he needs to make, but he needed to be bringing in something.


  • Loyal/Faithful
  • Humorous
  • Intelligent
  • Affectionate
  • Respectful

In this topic the traits that are listed above are the ones that were told to me by the few people who I talked to. They all wanted someone who is loyal and faithful to them, they want someone who can either make them laugh or someone to laugh with, they want someone to be affectionate with them. Hand holding, little kisses here and there, going out on dates where they can have fun together, someone they can actually Netflix and chill. Most importantly they wanted someone who was respectful to them, as well as, the relationship. They wanted someone who would stick up for them, and have their backs no questions asked.

Final thoughts

When I conducted this mini research project I was very interested in what the results could be. When I asked each individual at the end what was more important to them out of three topics listed above; they were not sure. While I was here typing up the responses I figured that I would go ahead and share my own personal responses, and what is most important to me out of the three. For the physical aspect I prefer any race/skin tone, body build:athletic, height must be a minimum “5’10”. In material items I only require that you be at my level. In other words I can’t expect you to have something I don’t. Income has isn’t anything specific, but has to have bringing something in. Characteristics, which is the most important to me, is all of the above with two traits added on.

Those two traits are Hard-Working, and Honesty. Hard-Working doesn’t have to be someone getting their hands dirty. It could be putting in a lot of hours at the job, or Hey! Even better them getting another job. Honesty, because establishing trust is something very important. If there isn’t any trust none of the other things matter. There are a lot of grey areas when it comes to the above topics, and there were many other factors that were not included, but it all comes down to you choosing what is the most important to you when decided to be in a relationship with someone.

Just a quick and important reminder though. When you are deciding what is the most important just remember what ever qualities, material items, or physical traits they possess you are deciding to overlook some of the things that they lack. Meaning there is never going to be someone out there that has every single thing that you want, so just be very careful when evaluating what’s the most important.

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