Advice · Friendship · Relationship

It’s Not For You To Fix

If you are the kind of person that is empathetic, has a big heart, loyal to all that are loyal to you, and always tries to fix everyone else’s problems then please continue reading this is very important for you and your sanity.

What We Want

Everyone wants to be there for the person that they care the most about. The person that is always available when they call or send that text. The one to check up on them when they see things on social media that’s out of the ordinary, or the person to reach out after having a sixth sense that something is wrong.

What Happens

When hearing what the person that is close to you is going through strong emotions form. Anger and sadness tend to be the ones that occur the most. What usually happens after that is the situation(s) that they are going through usually take over your day to day life. Which can cause you stress as well. You can’t be there for the person who needs you if you yourself aren’t 100%

What Can You Do

To keep your own stress levels down and to keep your sanity there is one important thing to remember……

1.) It’s not your problem to fix

Once you learn that you don’t have to go and fix any and everyone’s problem the less stress you will have on yourself, and the more you can be there for the person that needs you. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do anything for the person that needs you. You can….

1.) Just be that listening ear: Sometimes just being that person that will just sit there and listen is all they need. Being able to provide that emotional support, and not moving past doing that can be just enough.

2.) Doing little things: Sending a “How are you feeling”, or “Just checking on you” text does more than you think. Buying them their favorite snack and spending a little time with them here or there, or planning a small hangout to do one of their favorite activities.

                                Not For You To Fix pic 1.jpg

If you are used to solving everyone’s problem then this can be a bit difficult for you. Whether its friends or family accepting that for one this is not your problem to deal with and, for two to accept that it is not your place nor do you have the means or power to fix the problem.

 

 Copyright ©2016 AmiableEmpath All Rights Reserved

4 thoughts on “It’s Not For You To Fix

  1. I think I was a chronic “fixer” most of my life. I’m trying not to be. In my case, I see it as technique I use to avoid authenticity in my relationships. That doesn’t mean I don’t care for my loved ones. It just means instead of focusing externally on my friends’ journeys, I am trying to understand my reactions to them and then how to respond appropriately. I’m not sure I’m doing a great job of explaining what I mean but I’ll share regardless.

    Jon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand completely where you’re coming from. I was the exact same way. Everything that my friends and family went through consumed my day to day life and I am finally starting to try not to jump in a fix it but allow them to make the decisions that they want to and as their friend/family member accept what they choose to do and be able to stay positive.

      Liked by 1 person

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