Most people when they look for a relational partner they have a list.
Disclaimer: This is not generalizing every person on earth. I am basing this off of the people I’ve come across in my own personal life
On that list most people who I’ve come across all want the same things……
- Have their own place
- Have a car
- Have a good job
- No baby mama/baby father
- Dress nice
- Wants children
- Financially stable
- Has Manners/Good upbringing
The list can go on and on, but this was the most common that I’ve heard. Now there is nothing wrong with having a list of what you want in another, but you also have to understand that you are not going to get everything that you have on your list. There is a possibility that you can have everything on your list but it will take some time.
What are The Problem Starts and How to Fix It
1.) Now most people when they look for relational partners want someone who has everything on the list and then wonder why they are still single. The problem is that you are looking for all the qualities that you listed when all of those qualities aren’t needed.
Here’s a solution for this problem: Go through your list and pick out the top three most important. I’ll use myself as an example. My top three most important things are that he needs to have a job, he needs to be faithful, and he needs to have a respect. Once you find someone who you are interested in using your three important things, and a relationship forms it progresses another problem comes up…..
2) The other things on your list aren’t showing up as soon as you thought. You feel that a good enough amount of time has flown by and you haven’t seen much progress of the other things that you have listed.
Here’s a solution for that: You only need two things. Effort and Time. Most people are a work in progress. It’s going to take time for them to be every single thing that you are looking for. If you are not willing to put in the effort of helping them from becoming that work in progress to everything that is on your list then do not be surprised by the possible complications in the relationship that follow.
There has to be an understanding that anyone you choose to deal with isn’t going to instantly be everything that you are looking for. Just as you had to grow into the person that you are, the person you choose to deal with will have to do the same. Just as you have a list of things you want your ideal partner to be, so does anyone you choose to deal with. As long as you both put in the effort and understand that time is a huge part of everything a beautiful, blossoming, and long lasting relationship will ensue.
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